3 reasons why you’ll never have your dream job

Most of my friends have a dream they love to fantasise about, but never actually pursue.

Heck, I’d venture out to say most people are in that position.

We all have that one big goal we would love to pursue. That thing that would really make us feel happy and fulfilled.

For some people, it might be a material goal. For others, it might be a relationship goal.

What I most frequently see, though, is the desire to have a totally different job than the one you’re in, and that’s the one I will be talking about here.

Most of us are born into the mentality that what we love to do, and what actually ends up paying the bills are two totally different things. If you were born in the USA, you might be lucky enough to have received the rhetoric of “follow your dreams” and “you can do anything” early in life and maybe that gave you the courage to go after what you want.

But in Romania, that’s still quite an exotic mindset.

To some extent, there is *some* truth in that distinction. There are definitely jobs and fields of work that are in demand and well paid, and others that are not. So living with your two feet well planted in the ground and having a dose of realism is healthy.

Whenever I find myself dabbling into that conviction, I also quickly challenge myself thinking there really is no limit to what can actually produce money.

At the end of the day, we still have millionaires born out of selling tooth picks and rubber bands.

Arguably, your creativity, resilience and entrepreneurial flair are the only things actually limiting you. On top of that, there’s 3 different limiting beliefs that will never allow you to take the jump and follow that dream:

1. You don’t have enough money. Okay, agreed, to some extent this might be a valid objection. Especially if you talk about starting a business, you will need to have suficient capital. At the same time, I frequently notice people who entertain luxurious living conditions and still complain about the lack of money . The people who actually inspired me to write this piece have generous, stable monthly incomes and 3 (!) properties and still feel that they do not have enough in order for one of the two spouses to start their own business. That is bonkers (to avoid using another “b” word that has 8 letters and ends with a “t.”). If you want to start that business, create that cash capital. Sell one of your properties, if you have the luxury to have more than one. Downsize your lifestyle and start a savings account. Work overtime or get a side project to produce more money. There’s a million success stories that start with people who sold everything they had to start a business. You don’t necessarily have to do that, but you do have to make some choices. There’s another category here — people who do not want to start another business, but want to switch their job for another one they would love better, but pays less. If you are a slave to the pay-check and to always earning more, you will never be able to put your passion first.
2. You aren’t competent enough. Hello, perfectionists and impostor-syndrome fellas! I am a perfect example in this category. I have followed Bachelor’s and Master’s programme studies in Psychology. I have 3 certifications — as a coach, as a trainer, as a Belbin consultant. I have read countless specialty books, listened to hundreds and thousands of hours of content, attended workshops, etc. There’s a part of me that thinks I will never know enough to be able to teach others. That part fuels my growth, in a way. It also pushes the brakes when I don’t want it to. If you find yourself stuck in this mindset, ask yourself “What do I need in order to feel competent for this business/job?”. If there’s a valid, reasonable and actionable answer, follow it. If what shows up is a never ending “not-being-enough-ness”, be aware of that in yourself, nurture it and unfold it with a skilled therapist. It does not have to run your life and limit your decisions.
3. You don’t have enough time. You know, I feel you if you think this represents your reality now. I am the mom of a toddler, and I feel I have almost no time for myself as it is. While you don’t want to run yourself into a burnout or other stress and fatigue related afflictions, know that you might never, ever feel you have enough time to spare to start doing what you want to do. Studies actually show that businesses started while their owners had another job have had much higher chances of success. Up to some point, you might find yourself having to juggle a job and a business at the same time. That will be painful, stressful, draining. Acknowledging that up front and planning for it will save you some of that pain. The goal is not to stay with your feet in both worlds for too long — that would not be healthy. The goal is to have a stable cash flow as your business starts to catch momentum and gain clients. Figuring out your sales strategy and your *realistic* projected revenue is very important as early as planning to start the business.

Going after what you want requires taking a leap. It will require you working against your tendency to postpone, to play it safe and to cling unto your confort zone. But I hear not following their passion is one of the things people regret the most when they look back on their lives. So why live with that regret? Today really is the best day to start.