Doing the work of self worth

  • reflecting as honestly and as objectively as possible upon self
  • knowing our strengths and our weaknesses
  • take stock of our successes and our failures
  • looking at where we messed up (with ourselves and others) — and working to repair and make amends
  • becoming aware of our “Shadow” side — the traits, impulses and tendencies which are distructive or we do not like — and finding ways to harness it and accept it
  • making different choices
  • taking strong, generative action to align ourselves with our values
  • knowing, claiming and using our gifts and abilities for the sake of ourselves and others
  • facing our fears.
  • Bob is talking about starting his own business for 10 years now. He talks about how we wants to do it, how much it means to him, how serious is about it, but then for the last 10 years Bob has not moved past “There’s still something to be changed about the website” or “I am creating buzz first” or “I still have to follow this course or get this certification”. Bob spends a lot of time going to coaches and courses that do not enable him to take actual action and start doing actual work for his clients — he just feels better about taking more time and adds to the list of reasons why what he is doing is perfectly okay.
  • For the last three years, Vanessa has changed her demeanour tremendously. Keeping herself stuck in a job that she truly dislikes, she tries to escape by provoking fights with her boss, a boss that ironically is incredibly patient and never confronts her attitude. She talks about how she is aware of this, about how she is also aware of her growing emotional eating that has led to an unhealthy weight gain in order to cut off and discourage any attempts of her friends or family to encourage her to take healthy action. When her partner tries to propose healthier eating or working out together, she starts a violent fight and rejects any invitation to make different choices, and of taking any responsibility for the situation she is in.

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